I used to read a lot as a kid. Some of my earliest memories revolve around reading: taking books with me to school, reading books during recess, reading at home during summer break, patiently waiting for the next book in the series to come out, and then finishing the book almost immediately once it finally does.

Then, something changed. As I grew older and spent more time on my laptop, I began reading less and less. Eventually, I stopped reading entirely. Instead of reading, I would spend most of my free time programming or browsing the internet.

I kept up my habit of programming for a long time, until I eventually got burnt out of it for a variety of reasons. Afterwards, my habit of programming was replaced with a less healthy habit: watching YouTube. For some reason, programming and watching YouTube both seemed to satisfy the same impulse I had to create.

YouTube therefore became a sort of coping mechanism for my loss of interest in programming. I love learning things, so I spent a lot of time watching educational videos and learned a lot as a result. However, as much as I love learning things, I found that watching YouTube would often just make me more anxious.

My YouTube habit eventually turned into an addiction. I found myself constantly checking the same YouTube channels over and over to see if they had posted a new video. If none of the YouTube channels I watched had posted a video in a while, I would sometimes resort to watching a video from another channel and usually be disappointed.

Whenever I tried to quit watching YouTube, I found myself repeating the same behavior with other websites. If I wasn’t constantly checking YouTube, I would instead be constantly refreshing Mastodon, online forums, the news, and sometimes even blogs. I had become addicted to novelty, and I was always on the search for the next dopamine hit.

If I’m being honest, this behavior didn’t really start with YouTube. I had a similar experience years before that, when I became addicted to checking a certain tech news forum. I would check it almost daily to keep up with the latest news in the tech world. It got to the point where the URL for the forum was ingrained into my muscle memory and I was able to type it into my browser address bar very quickly. I eventually recognized that I needed to stop, so I quit cold turkey and I haven’t visited that forum in years. Likewise, I was also able to break my long-standing habits of checking Mastodon, the news, and other online forums, but for some reason I can never seem to shake my YouTube addiction.

I think YouTube offers something really powerful and enticing which makes it different from all the other addictions I was able to break. It doesn’t only satisfy your craving for novelty, but can also teach you amazing things about almost any topic. It also acts as a surrogate for genuine human connection and friendship in the real world. There’s a reason that YouTube is the second most visited website in the world.

In an attempt to replace my YouTube addiction with something more beneficial, I have recently picked up reading again. I started out with fiction, like I mostly read as a kid, and eventually moved on to nonfiction. I’ve really been enjoying it. I haven’t been able to make it a consistent habit yet, but that’s mostly because I’m a fast reader and I sometimes have a hard time finding the next book to read.

Reading has allowed me to reclaim more of my life from my internet addiction. Instead of making me more anxious like YouTube does, I find that reading has a calming effect. I can still get a bit addicted to reading, but it’s nowhere near as addicting as YouTube is. It also doesn’t feel like a waste of time like watching YouTube does.

If you’ve been meaning to start reading again, why not start now?